Let me ask you, have ever had those moments when you feel as though nothing ever goes right? I’ve been going through one of those times in my own life lately. Don’t get me wrong, things aren’t all that bad, but sometimes your own perception skews reality.
Six months ago, I accepted a position as a worship pastor at a new church plant, something that I had never done professionally in my life. I had been a youth pastor for the previous 7 years or so, and done some worship leading from time to time. Music is a passion of mine, and I really wanted to focus on using music as my means of service for God. So, in a HUGE leap of faith, I left the comforts of a job that I knew and decided to jump into this worship thing with both feet. And all in all, it’s been good. But sometimes….
I know that all of us in ministry are subject to quite a bit of criticism in our line of work. God knows that I dealt with that in youth ministry, and worship leading is no different. But sometimes there just comes a time when I have a tendency to get extremely discouraged in the face of criticism. Oh, it’s not that folks don’t mean well, or that they are expressing things out of a vindictive heart. On the contrary, most of the time criticism really does stem from a deep desire for “excellence.”
But what happens when the criticism becomes the main focus? A good balance of criticism along with encouragement is healthy and necessary for growth. But when the balance shifts, one way or the other, it has devastating effects. For me, the result is simple: loss of confidence. That’s what I am struggling with right now. I have zero confidence in my abilities as a worship pastor right now. Having fielded such criticisms as song selection, style, tempo, administration, planning, transitions, key choices, stage design, slide backgrounds, etc, I begin to wonder if I have any business doing what I’m doing. Am I really that bad of a worship pastor? Am I really making it MORE difficult for our people to approach the throne of God?
If I am, then shame on me. Suddenly, I have gone from being confident in my abilities to being scared senseless that I am going to fail each Sunday. And that is never a good place to be. I lie awake every Saturday night in a panic.
Through all of this, I am reminded of one simple scripture.
“Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” 2 Corinthians 3:4-6
And that really is the reality of it. As tough as it is feeling this way, I have to trust in the call that God has placed within my heart, and trust that in those times where I feel hopeless and totally incompetent, He will guide me. I must never place my faith in my own abilities, but instead let go and let God take care of it all. Isn’t that what this whole worship thing is about anyway…God?
It’s not easy. But I gotta keep pluggin’ away because God will use me, no matter how incompetent I may feel.
PS. It’s good to be back writing. I’ve missed you, blog!
October 9th, 2008 at 7:53 am
The Ten Commandments of Worship Leading:
1. Thou shalt choose good songs.
2. Thou shalt show a sense of style.
3. Thou shalt play thy songs at the appropriate tempo, so as to add to the emotionalism of the service.
4. Thou shalt choose a key in keeping with the vocal abilities of the group. Thou shalt not B flat.
5. Thou shalt design thy stages in a manner that places attention on the band and speaker.
6. Thou shalt design thy slides so that the audience need not read music or the Bible.
7. Thou shalt plan thy transitions so as not to break the spell of theatrics.
8. Thou shalt be a complimentary opening act for the speaker.
9. Thou shalt not allow for authenticity or the moving of the Spirit.
10. Thou shalt distract the audience from the reason for worship.
PS–The problem is not with you.