Not too long ago, I seriously considered leaving the Church, as we know it, altogether. Really. After nearly 30 years of involvement, I was ready to break it off. I grew up in church. My father was a pastor, until just over a year ago (he’s now doing ministry at the state level), and I have personally been serving on church staff since 2001. I have been part of small churches, mega-churches, country churches, city churches, traditional churches, contemporary churches, and I now serve in a new church plant. I have experienced a full array of all that churches have to offer. And I must say, I’m not too impressed.
Let me warn you: This commentary will offend. This commentary will make someone uncomfortable. It may even make some of you angry. But I also hope that it will bring to the forefront all that should be good about Christ’s Church. Please read this with an open mind, an open heart, and a sense of honesty and urgency.
So here they are. 5 reasons why I abandoned the Church…almost:
- Christian Elitism - What is Christian Elitism? Simply put, it is the idea that my church is bigger, better, stronger, more in tune with God, and more effective than your church. Or to simplify it further, my church is awesome and your church sucks and everyone hates us because we’re doing it better. Let me explain. Several years ago, I began attending a prominent church in the community in which I lived. On the surface, this church was amazing. A charismatic pastor, wonderful worship leader and band, “relevant” topical preaching, a young demographic, and there was just a buzz all around the place. I must admit, I was a bit infatuated. I had just resigned from a staff position and was in-between jobs, so this was the first time that I had really experienced what it is like for the average church goer. Week after week, I attended and really enjoyed the experience. After a while, however, I began to notice a strange pattern of behavior from others in the church. Time after time, a typical conversation with others in the church would usually lead to a statement about how we were so different…better…than the other churches in the area. A feeling of “us vs. them” permeated through the entire body. I began to wonder where this idea was coming from. I mean, all churches are working together for a common good, right? We’re on the same team. Then, the realization hit me. This was a mentality that was being fed from the top down. Over the next several weeks, I noticed that the leadership of this church was making some reference to this EVERY SINGLE WEEK. The pastor was consistently talking about how our church did things different, and because of this the other churches in the area don’t like us, and if they aren’t going to reach out to the community then we sure will. That was it for me (although there were many other factors in my decision). As much as I enjoyed the experience at that church, I could not support that mentality. Really…it’s one thing to be excited about your church and reaching the community, but it’s another thing to tear down other church bodies and further contribute to the divide.
And this is not just a problem in the contemporary church movement. In fact, this mentality was probably created by traditionalists who took every opportunity to tear down a church that was effective in the community. And that’s the whole point. Attacking other members of the Body of Christ is simply wrong, and there is no place in the Church for this type of behavior.
- The Self-Centered Church - Take a look at your own church budget for a minute. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Good. Now, grab a sheet of paper. Make two columns and label the first one My Church, the second one My Community. Now, I want you to go through your budget item by item and place them in one column or the other. I know, it’s a tedious thing to ask. But I promise you, it’ll be an eye-opener. For the vast majority of churches, upwards of 80-90% of all budget items would probably end up in one column. Can you guess which one? This is an issue that crosses all church boundaries. Most of the money in our churches goes right back into our churches. Multi-million dollar buildings, countless programs, social gatherings, special concerts, etc. A great man once said “for where your treasure is, your heart will be also.” That Jesus guy…you know, he really got it. The problem is, everything we do in our churches is for us. Sure, we usually claim some desire to reach the lost with whatever we are doing, but the reality is that we are mostly just concerned with ourselves. Programs don’t reach people…they just keep the people we already have satisfied. Buildings won’t impact our communities…but they will provide a better, more comfortable environment for our own people. And I gotta say…I’m amazed at what the early church was able do. Let’s face it…they didn’t have sound systems, powerpoint, or really cool stage lighting. I’m amazed this whole Christian thing ever got off the ground.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of those things as much as anyone. But don’t you find that we spend far too much time and energy consumed with our own church agendas and far too little on going outside the walls of the church and building relationships with the world around us? What would happen if a growing church would say “we’re not going to invest millions in building a new facility. Instead, we are going to take some of our people and plant a new work. Or maybe invest in planting a married couple into an apartment community specifically to reach those in multi-housing communities.” With the vast financial resources that many of our churches have, we could make a global impact if we would choose to operate on 50% (or less) of our current budgets, and invest the other 50% in our communities.
So the question is: whose kingdom are we really trying to build…ours or God’s?
- The Missing Element: Ethics - What has happened to ethics within the church? I have a close friend who once served on staff at a very popular, fast-growing church. When I asked him about why he left, he shared something with me that broke my heart. You see, he had discovered that some other leaders of this church were actively recruiting top givers from other churches. Seriously. They were visiting these families with their own pitch about why they should leave the church they were currently supporting and come to a church that was “actually doing something.” My friend took issue with this, and shared his feelings with his pastor, after which he was quietly let go from his position. Yes, this is an extreme example of a blatant disregard for ethics within the church. But this sort of thing happens much more often than we would like to admit. Staff are treated unfairly, the church operates more like a business than a church, top donors are given special treatment, and let’s not even get started on rumors, gossip, and backstabbing that goes on within a congregation. All of these problems point to the existence of a deep, moral/ethical void alive and well within the one place it shouldn’t be.
I remember a situation that happened to me in my very first staff position. Among my other duties at the church, I was Director of Recreation, meaning that I was to oversee our children and youth basketball league. We were a fairly large church, so we had over 20 teams just within our own church body. I still recall the day that one of my coaches, and a deacon in the church, physically threatened me because I was considering moving a 9 year old boy off of his team and onto another one, at the parents’ request. After a lengthy and very loud conversation, I remember hanging up the phone and sitting at my desk in utter disbelief. Here was someone who was supposed to be a spiritual leader within our church, and I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Add in other issues, such as attempted recruiting and cheating in a church league, and one thing became very clear to me: we had a serious ethics problem.
- Fear of Drowning - Possibly the most dangerous thing on my list is the watering down of scriptural truths that has become such a part of our church culture. In our world, we have become so concerned with being attractive, relevant, and popular that we are deathly afraid of laying the truth of scripture in front of our people. Let’s face it…the Bible is a tough book. It is full of things that aren’t pretty, that aren’t easy. But we have made Christianity into some sort of sideshow, claiming it’s all about us…our purpose, our success, our lives. And anything in scripture that doesn’t fit nicely into our own pre-conceived notions is generally skipped right on over in favor of something a little more palatable. And we all know what happens when we no longer eat for sustenance but for pleasure….we get fat and lazy. And that is exactly what has happened. We have created a culture of Christians that have no concept of conviction, of sacrifice, of hard truths. And we as church leaders have no-one to blame but ourselves because we have moved away from teaching the foundational truths of scripture for the sake of “relevance.”
- We’ve quit caring. This one is the toughest one to take. I know that the church has problems, and most people will admit the same. But when did we decide to stop fighting for His bride? Or worse, when did we stop caring altogether? I know I’m not the only one who sees the problems that the church has. I talk to church leaders every day that are starting to grasp the situation that we have created. So why is it that so few are attempting to do something about it? Why is it that many of our church leaders refuse to work toward reconciliation? Why do we continue to support the same broken patterns that got us here in the first place? Why do we still fight over things that are irrelevant, break each other down? Why do we still teach our people to be self-centered, focus our energies inside? It seems to me that if we acknowledge a problem we must be willing to do something about it, no matter how difficult.
By now, I’m sure some of you are saying “well Phillip, if you hate the church so much, why not just leave?” Well, it’s simple, really. I love Jesus. And Jesus loves the Church. The Church is the Bride of Christ. And because Jesus loves the Church, so do I. At least, I love the idea of what the Church was intended to be. The problem is, churches are full of sinners saved by grace. And because the Church is comprised of imperfect people, so we will have imperfect churches. Church leaders are not messiahs…they are simply lost and broken people that have been found by Jesus Christ. But although we may never reach perfection, we should always be striving for it.
So here is my challenge to all of you church leaders out there: What Will You Do? That was the theme of the Catalyst conference last year, and those four little words haunt me every day. Will you as a leader, whether in a contemporary or traditional church, take the first step towards reconciliation with the other churches in your community? Will you make an effort to build up not only your own fellowship but the other church communities around you? Will you commit to turn your attention from your own church operation and focus on the community in which God has placed your church? Will you strive to teach and reinforce ethical responsibilities among your staff and church? Will you freely teach the truths of scripture, even when it’s uncomfortable? And will you love your church enough to do whatever is necessary to purify His Bride?
Phil | 
05 15th, 2008| 
